Friday, June 28, 2013

Remembering my Mother (06-19-04)

Tomorrow is the death anniversary of my mother, Teresa "Bebing" Abucay. My sister and I will go to the cemetery. We will bring flowers and candles.  We will say our prayers to the Lord as well.

I really miss my mother so much. It is not just during her death anniversary that I miss her. My countless missing of her will go on until forever. I even dream of my mother. I remember her everyday and when I feel downs in life, her presence, I longed.

My mother died from a cancer, Myoma (stage 4). It was last June 29, 2004 that she passed away. Her struggle of the disease is horrible. At those times, I can feel her deep pain that she almost tolerates to bear it.

One thing that my mother says before she died that I also will not forget until now is when she says, "The world is so beautiful. I want to live more."

It is so hurtful for me, who at those times is just 22  years old. That was the year that I freshly graduated from college. I will not forget that. My mother was not able to attend my big day because she is resting at home due to the excruciating pain of her abdomen. I am excited at that time that maybe my mother can do it in attending my graduation, but she was not there. And I understand that.

Before she died, there was a snake that accidentally got inside the house. While my mother is slowly doing something in the kitchen, she shouted going out from the place and said to us that she saw a cobra under the sink. Luckily, our neighbors helped my father in killing the snake. On the second day after that, my mother died in the hospital.

At first, it was really painful for me to accept that I can't be able to see mother anymore. On that day after the burial, as I woke up in the morning, I imagined that she is at the kitchen, preparing the meals. I looked at the whole place in our house, reflections of her mirror like she is really personally alive. It took me almost 2 years to really accept that she is gone.

The process of my acceptance of the loss of my mother is not easy. I cried and cried. I always go to the cemetery, talking to her like as if she is really alive. I visit at the cemetery almost everyday. Suddenly tears on my face swiftly runs everytime I remember her, especially at night.

It was really a hard struggle for me. Even until now, when I am really tired about many things, and I want to share them, I am always wishing and hoping that my mother is here. I longed of her. I miss her so deeply.

But in spite of all, I have realized and totally accepted that she is really gone and she is not with us anymore. She is with the Lord in Heaven. I can feel and I know it.

I love my mother so much. That is why, I am doing my best for my sisters and my father. I am doing my best to help our family. I love my mother so much and I miss her everyday.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I see myself through others

Mirage of reflections welcome me everyday. Lots of displayed emotions captivate to let me know that I was once like you and I was with you.

Encountering numerous faces everyday gives me warm welcomes of "applauses", the kinds of applause that brings me to joy and needless to say, pain. Pain in a way that I empathized others that to the point that I could come up feeling their pain because they are struggling to the maximum and I am like so blessed to have enjoyed more in life.

Life is like a transcending color of reflections. These colors come from a variety of faces. It may be dimly black that it seems like all the pains set in. It may be colorfully green and yellow that in spite of the misfortunes, there is still the hope that leads to a better home. It is sometimes gray that there is no point in transcending to a kind of situation that spells to provide people of the right choice. It just indicates that merely one has to live life and take it as it is, with no options in mind. It is somewhat in the shades of blue that seems like the burden of the world is on me. It may appear pinkishly girly or manly in black.

Reflections of others even in various colors, I do experienced. No matter what the color may be, it is the kind of aspirations that I choose to enjoy and accept whatever it is in a way that I realize that I view myself in others.

Life is indeed a reflection. 

Online IT degree: Way to quality education

Earning to have a degree is one of the most valuable dream everyone is aspiring to enjoy for no one really wants to stay stagnant without knowledge to face life's approaches and its demands of survival. 

Let us face this reality that not all can go to school because working in order to earn a living is their prime task to face their everyday life, which of course, they make this reason their priority. Due to this very most aspect of reality, here set in the presence of online degrees in order to cater the needs of the people that despite their busy life, they can still insert to earn a degree.

The online IT degree is one of the offered degree that busy people can enroll even though they are at their busy schedules. Online IT degree sets to give education at its main role that is available for everyone, no matter how hectic they are in their other businesses. This online educational system spells availability out from stretching people busy schedules to the point that they can have their lessons according to their preferred time online. Thus, since this is an online degree, the use of computer services is highly a demand. 

Education is not to be selfish. It should be distributed and even enjoyed by everyone. No portals of borders that should block the way of education. Time, the basis of enjoying the availability of educating oneself and it is through this process that online IT degree understands that people to enjoy the right kind of education out from their busy lives.

Friday, June 14, 2013

It is just like a deja vu.

I always have this feel like I am always in a deja vu. I don't know if this is just some kind of imagination, or a sort of just an experience that it keeps me hauting now or reminded me that it already happened or it will happen in the future.

I have noticed in myself that there is a form of events that draws like a picture in my mind and then I know that it surely did not happen, but then it happens in my acquaintances in the future, but not in a long time. It quickly happens like tomorrow, next week or days so. Then, I say that I have that incidence in my mind.

I don't know if this is like a prediction or that I am just so good in anticipating what might going to happen in the future when I do something or when I have seen an action of events that portrays impact of possibilities of occurences.

I never do exaggeration when I think. It always keeps me reminded that this kind of "potential" in me is sort or part of psychology in me.

 Oftentimes, I love being this way. I enjoy seeing things the way it is reflected on my mind. It is like a sure prediction that it is going to happen or it is just like a mere deja vu.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Emotional...?Nope, I'm not.

It is really being not afraid to speak one's own mind mean being emotional? Here's what I would like to share.

People do find me emotional. And I would "yes" and of course, "no".

I am emotional in the sense that I emphatize the feelings of others. I do know how it feels in their shoe. Getting to understand the situation and having that common sense are the pillars that I have in me all the time. I know it. It is in me.

Probably, when it comes to the word, "emotional", initially, our mind-setting is like being overly worried on things, being exaggerated in one's feelings and being able not to cope and then cry in the corner and dominately be sad all the time. Well, that is not me. I am the opposite.

It is due that I have been through lots of life, as early as 5 years old. I come to know the world and love understanding them. Probably, it is just that I am so blessed with more trials, hardships and pains. But all those negative vibes can't harm the person in me.

That is why, I am partly emotional and not all the time overly emotional. I am just me.

I am in silence all the time. I am understanding and loving life.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Water, My Life!

I find satisfaction of the water that is my "soda" right now. It does everything for me.

I have found out that my love of drinking more than 8 glasses of water makes me healthy all the time. There is a kind of feeling that spells satisfaction in everything I do. I am not always get irritated easily when I don't want something. I feel that my body is not heavy. I always feel refresh and happy. I feel contented and cool.

Because of my love of water, many people are are asking me about how physically I do change. Before, they use to see me more with adipose tissue. Now, they are telling me, "You are losing weight", "You look blooming and beautiful." I take their appreciation, a complement.

"It is because of drinking a lot of water." is what I told them. Probably, water brings the most in me. I am not exhausted. I am not easily get hot-tempered. I am more calm. I am at my best right now. And I am loving it! 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

On advicing: Point-of-view

It is not about advicing. It is about directing a person to reflect and answer his own questions.

Being with the people we know and trust makes us open and share our problems, whether these problems are personal, academic or just about anything. Initially, what we want to hear from them is the kind of "bulls eye" advice that it connects or even matches our own personal voice of our own problem that oftentimes, it is best that they will utter those words right on our faces. In this case, we can say that you advice me with the right one, just the same with what I think, totally correct.

But in the process of advicing, not suggesting or commenting, I would rather say that it is better to use the "bounce-back technique". How? When a person is soliciting a kind of advice from you, you will direct him to a question. You will not give him the option on how to do his own thing in solving his problem, but rather, you will lead him to the kind of realization that is implanted in his esteem, in his mind because I do know that he has the answer just within his own points-of-view. It just needs to be confirmed by you, hearing them.

People do have inner voice. That inner voice is the soul that dictates you to do what is best for you to do. Because of the overladen suggestions that you have in mind, these all comes into dumping up or messing up. Then, that is the time for you that you feel you want someone to listen to you that would probably confirm your approval on the kind of answers that would best for you to do or take an action into.

In advicing, it is not about the person speaking. It is about what is the person would like to do or decide, that best suits his inner voice and take that into action. That is why, it is best to lead the person into questions that would answer his own questions.
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