Saturday, June 1, 2013

On advicing: Point-of-view

It is not about advicing. It is about directing a person to reflect and answer his own questions.

Being with the people we know and trust makes us open and share our problems, whether these problems are personal, academic or just about anything. Initially, what we want to hear from them is the kind of "bulls eye" advice that it connects or even matches our own personal voice of our own problem that oftentimes, it is best that they will utter those words right on our faces. In this case, we can say that you advice me with the right one, just the same with what I think, totally correct.

But in the process of advicing, not suggesting or commenting, I would rather say that it is better to use the "bounce-back technique". How? When a person is soliciting a kind of advice from you, you will direct him to a question. You will not give him the option on how to do his own thing in solving his problem, but rather, you will lead him to the kind of realization that is implanted in his esteem, in his mind because I do know that he has the answer just within his own points-of-view. It just needs to be confirmed by you, hearing them.

People do have inner voice. That inner voice is the soul that dictates you to do what is best for you to do. Because of the overladen suggestions that you have in mind, these all comes into dumping up or messing up. Then, that is the time for you that you feel you want someone to listen to you that would probably confirm your approval on the kind of answers that would best for you to do or take an action into.

In advicing, it is not about the person speaking. It is about what is the person would like to do or decide, that best suits his inner voice and take that into action. That is why, it is best to lead the person into questions that would answer his own questions.
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